Life experience without work experience

Heartache bothers us all.

Whenever, and I promise I don't mean this lightly, I feel like I've begun to get attracted to someone, it soon turns out that they've been feeling not so hot towards me or even noticed how I feel. The latter is probably because I'm super insecure and awkward and may be too scared to actually project it.

So, what happens when I see that they don't feel the same or that they do but for someone else? A cycle of jealousy, 'why not me?', self-hate, general hate, self-pity, self deprecation and finally, acceptance of my short-comings runs all over again like a film in a broke film theatre with dying equipment and scenes get stuck.

I'm in 'self-hate' right now. So, to detach myself from the situation and be writing this is quite the challenge but an interesting one at that. Yeah, yeah. There was someone and that did not do too well for me. While I feed the lonely void in my heart with this mindless incessant typing, let me tell you something that I wish someone tells me every time I get into this situation: "It will always suck when you see your goal and find the roadmap, but, you don't have the night lights or the support system to realise the utility of the roadmap to get straight to the goal." This requires both divergence and convergence of thought. In business, like in any aspect of life, one has to back off and really see the big picture.

With the guy I had a crush on, it hurts when I see that it's going elsewhere. So, all I had to do was step back, take a deep breath and actually look at it as a human thing while making a decision to manage the emotional connection while keeping certain emotions in check.

Yudh - Episode 19 review. Beware of minor spoilers.

The penultimate episode starts to unravel much of what was setup in week one and two. I'm going to ignore weeks three and four because it felt like more of a filler than a continuation of the story.

Since this was the episode before the finale, it was rightly high-in-action and had a lot of drama. Some of the reveals were interesting and some just weren't. However, this episode got better towards the end.

In this episode, Rishi's character, although with lesser screen time than usual, got an interesting push, further than his has ever been. Ajatashatru and Rishi were, in this episode, the most interesting characters. Although, they could've cast a better actor for the role of Ajatashatru, he does manage to put up the underplaying mastermind character decently. Of course, the actor seems more uncomfortable in this character than in his "Taruni's Fiancé" role. His portrayal was, however, much better in episode eighteen than episode nineteen.

I, particularly, enjoyed the Inspector in this episode, who not only exhibits great levels of intelligence, but adds some comic relief to the whole show. Zakir Hussain as Anand was great, as usual, but his scenes were actually overshadowed by the Inspector.

There were two scenes where I was surprised with the level of violence shown. One was the scene with Anand's son trying to play with his mother with a real gun and the other where Ajatashatru kicks Taruni in the stomach multiple times. Both these scenes, I feel, did not deserve the amount of blasts and kicks it received. If it was just an exaggeration to raise the number of viewers or a genuinely required aspect, it is yet to be discovered and I will reserve my opinion over it till I see the finale.

Based on the previews of the finale, it seems like most of the episode will be a face-off between Yudh and Ajatashatru. What it really is will be seen in the finale of Yudh, a promising yet mildly prolonged TV mini-series, which will help other producers to take up scripts that are much more challenging and engaging than the regular hum-drum of Indian Television (CID plays for, approximately, six hours a weekday!).

Robin Williams - The Genie.

I remember the first time I ever watched Alladin. Despite the very handsome Ali, the demure Jasmine, the very clever and dangerous Jaffar, the wise-cracking parrot and the utterly lovable monkey, there was one character that brought charm and heart to the movie. The Genie was crazy, classy, extremely intelligent, funny, sassy and a downright whack-job. He was also Ali's best friend and shared amazing chemistry with the magic-carpet. The Genie was noble, humble and understanding. At  age seven, I would've done anything to be his best-friend!

I was such a big fan of the Genie that when, seven years later I had the opportunity to own it's DVD set, my younger cousins, nieces and nephews would come over to visit, I would always coax them into watching Alladin, the movie, thinking it necessary education to know and understand the Genie, like a silly rite-of-passage with me. If they found Ali more fascinating than the Genie, I would get cross wondering why they wouldn't see the brilliance of the blue angel, shifting shapes and dancing proudly with his paunch out! They would wonder the same about me, though.

Years after watching countless Robin Williams movies, the cheesy, the whacky, the really bad ones and the brilliant, and while looking up a movie a friend had recommended, I stumbled upon Robin Williams' IMDB page. It said "Died: August 11, 2014 (Age 63)" right above an image of him with an Oscar. I didn't quite process it at first glance until I saw the date. It was yesterday! A whole day since the blue and hook-nosed genius passed and the world was continuing to turn. The wars that were being fought were continuing on, the unhealthy bureaucracy of various governments continued to exist, planes crashed, people died, people were born, babies cried, my mother continued to nag me about all the things I was supposed to do but haven't. A Genie's voice had ceased to exist but it's words and humour hadn't.

After all the singing, dancing, screaming, laughing, stoically watching, times of Robin Williams, in my mind, I cannot think of a more perfect fit than the Genie to the genius Robin Williams. Of course, there have been Rathbones/Cumberbatches to Sherlock Holmeses, Tennants to Doctor Whos, Amitabh Bachchans to Vijay Deenanath Chauhans, but Robin Williams was the human incarnation of the Genie. He will always be that for every child and adult who has grown up falling in love over and over again with that movie. Thank you, Robin Williams, for colouring mine and a billion other childhoods that fun colour of blue! Hope you find immense joy wherever you go on from here.

Yudh - Episode 17 review. Beware of minor spoilers :-)

The last week of an Indian mini-series, a first after a long time! Yudh's seventeenth episode promises much and delivers quite a bit of that chunk! Ha! Surprise! Yes, after a long time, an episode of Yudh aired that wasn't just tolerable, but was good!

In fact, this episode was so good that my dad, my Yudh watching companion, and I were, quite literally, on the edge of our seats. This episode was so good that the actors in supporting roles, for whom there was either no real purpose in the show or their potential was not being fully utilised, fit perfectly! Now, this episode was so good that it set up for all the big plot bits to be fully solved for the story. Finally, this episode was so good, that, in fact, it solved the most dragged out bit of storyline in this entire series, the mining plant story!

Thank god for the dramatic crescendo beginnings and endings create, because if not for that, I'm sure the story would have been stretched further into areas not meant for the show to enter, just like the countless TV shows on Indian Television today.

Nawazuddin Siddiqui, an actor I hoped would join the show earlier, was barely on screen and seems to have done it more as a favour to Anurag Kashyap than for anything else. However, I hardly seemed to have missed him this episode due to the back-in-form Mr. Bachchan and, surprisingly, Pavail Gulati.

Speaking of Pavail Gulati (Rishi Sikarwar), I especially liked the way the makers went about solving the Mining Plant plot problem. It was subtle, unspoken at times and, most importantly, an opportunity they grabbed than creating a long-winded melodramatic moment!

After two weeks of mostly mediocre acting and confused writing, Yudh broke out of the shell, tonight, and returned to its more straightforward story-telling of Week 1 and Week 2 (first 8 episodes). Hopefully, this trend continues and this last week of Yudh leave it at a better position than the previous week.

Yudh - Episode 16 review. Beware of minor spoilers.

The sixteenth episode of Yudh had many framing Shanti Constructions and it's employees for terrorist attacks, fraudulent property purchases, supposed employee murder, the murder of a family member (although, that wasn't technically framing).

Yudh has started to really lose his cool by this stage. He even asks Rishi to take a month and close down the mining business. He is loosing the support of his top two advisors (media and operations) as they are both under the scrutiny of the law. He also loses Taruni as she asks to be relieved of her position as CEO.

Pavail Gulati, the actor who plays Rishi, was as unconvincing as a miserable man as an iron rod as a cushion. The acting and the storyline dropped a few notches in this episode, which is surprising as it is reaching its final episodes in the next week.

Unfortunately, it is really disheartening to see that a show capable of so much, what with a brilliant cast and two very talented executive producers, could not deliver what it set out to do.

I have been sitting in front of my pen and paper, waiting for a moment to pop up, in memory, that I truly appreciated, this episode, and there were just flashes of a few scenes like Mona's friend's reaction when Anand asks her if she can do something about Mona's legal problems or even an inspector going through abandoned fake police uniforms.

All in all, this episode was lack-lustre, to say the least, and hopefully, as always, the rest of the few episodes of Yudh won't be as tiresome.

Happy weekend! :-)

Yudh - Episode 15 review. Beware of minor spoilers.

Conspiracies, spies and questionable, if not illegal, medical practices, episode fifteen of Yudh had them all.

It started off with Taruni seeking reassurance from her boyfriend about conducting a surgery that she has neither the training nor the qualification to do. As usual, since she is a supporting character of the TV show and she has a proven hero complex, she goes on to conduct the surgery. Although the issue was treated with some trepidation on the part of Taruni, it was still a little hard to digest. If I was in Yudh's place, I would have tried harder to look for an alternative surgeon. Or, at least, transported one from the nearest full-fledged hospital.

Aside from the fact that Taruni's surgical mask was hanging from her left ear and oops-wasn't-in-one-of-the-middle-shots, thankfully, slowly but surely, Yudh has come back to the fore-front. There was one really heart-felt scene where we see Yudh, in a moment of utter honesty, admits that it has all become a-bit-much for him and regretting some of his choices.

The episode ended with an army attack on the Naxalite group base, for which Rishi may or may not have been a cause. Rishi is upset that his informant/friend/mole from the Naxalite group has passed. This scene, in particular held a lot of dramatic promise that could not yield from the actor.

All in all, this episode was as average as it has been in the last few episodes, but not as cringeworthy as some of them. I'm looking forward to the Mona story-arc's solution since I have become quite intrigued by the character of Kapil. Apart from that, Yudh and Anand's final stand and position are somethings I'm curious about. The rest of the story, including the mining and the Maliks have, unfortunately, dimmed my interest in them.

Also, if you've watched the show or are in the process of doing so, please let me know in the comments of what you think of the show! Do you think Kapil will go scott-free? Do you think Anand can come to Yudh's rescue in his final moments? Write down your thoughts and we can discuss these on my next post.

Yudh - Episode 14 review. Beware of minor spoilers.

Politics - commercial, judicial and personal - have coloured the show, Yudh, so far. Politics that are slowly eating away at Yudhishtir Siwarkar and, incidentally, at his family and friends.

Six episodes to go, after this one, and there are still many things that are cropping up every episode. I'm a bit worried that they won't have enough time to resolve all of them. I could be wrong and I hope I am.

My complains from the last two episodes are not unfounded yet, sadly. Yudh is still, mostly, sidelined as his world continues to crumble and he is barely more than a helpless observer.

Anand gets out of jail and that is still a mystery as to why he was in jail and then let out with equal ease! Rishi starts to investigate the mine blasts and with remarkably little effort, gets the man responsible in trouble. In the meanwhile, Nayan decides to go to Rishi because, well, she is as tired as we are with all the shenanigans Shanti Constructions has had to ensue.

Yet, there was one scene that I admired quite a bit and it was the one where Taruni's parents sit Taruni down and give her a very solid reason as to why she should discontinue her active connection with Yudh. I thought that scene made a lot of sense given that, in the utterly small world they live in, her step-father is the one who is investigating Yudh's mentor, in turn giving ample evidence to audit Yudh as well. However, you would think that would raise some red flags in Taruni's mind, but there she is by his side, by the end of the episode.

The show didn't grow much from last night, as it did just deepen the mystery. My dad and I had quite a debate about where this show is going and was pleasantly surprised to see that I wasn't the only one to see the amount of potential this show has, but sad to see it not being realised. Six more to go.